S.S. Mommy

Back to School Transition Tips – Their worries

August 9, 2008

Once I have the kids going to bed earlier they know that school is just around the corner and it won’t be long until the long summer days are coming to an end. I usually start easing them back into their school year bedtime routine on a Sunday night since that would traditionally be a school night during the school year; about Wednesday I start talking to the kids about school and trying to get an idea of how they feel about going back to school. Two years ago when I started this discussion with my daughter she told me she was really nervous about school because she knew that both of the third grade teachers were boys and she’d never had a boy teacher before and she was uncomfortable with the idea. We spent some time discussing why she was uncomfortable and what she thought was going to be different and how she could become comfortable with the idea of a boy teacher. That year was also the first year that my youngest son was going to preschool alone. For the first two years that he had been in preschool his older brother had been going with him; he was sad that he was going to be alone and not have him there. He was afraid he wouldn’t know how to find the bathroom and who was going to tell the teacher when he needed something and how would he get his backpack put together without his brother. (Have you figured out his older brother is a nurturer? LOL) He had some legitimate concerns even though he was just four years old and it was important that I helped him deal with what he was worried about so he could feel comfortable when he started school.

This year buddy will be starting junior high; this is a big transition for him. Not only is he going to a different school but everything is going to be more difficult, more will be expected of him, and he will also be playing football on a team for the first time. We’ve already started talking about these changes and how he feels about them; he’s made it perfectly clear to me that he’d prefer to start homeschooling again!

Talking to my kids about school before school starts is extremely important to them and to me as well. By taking the time to find out how they are feeling I am able help them figure out some solutions to their fears and give them some comfort so they can be better prepared for their first day.

Did you take the time to subscribe in my last post: Back to School Transition Tips? If not you can do so by entering your name and e-mail address below. This way you can be sure not to miss the rest of the ideas I have for getting our kids ready for going back to school. I’ll see ya in a couple of days with another idea!

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Back to School Transition Tips - Scheduling

August 7, 2008

I remember when I was a little girl; I couldn’t wait for the end of the school year. Summer was a much anticipated season and there were so many things that we could do. I loved being able to sleep in late and have the freedom of not having a schedule. Even though I really loved summer vacation I was one of those kids who actually enjoyed school but when the end of summer started coming to a close I was still sad to see the end of the fun and have to go back to the everyday routine of the school year. My kids are not at all like me; they do not like school and dread the ending of summer time and the starting of a new school year.

When we homeschooled we didn’t have a summer break since we did a bit of schooling all year round but since the kids have been in public school for the past four years I have found a few ideas that work for us to start getting ready to ease back into the school year routine. Since it won’t be long till school starts I thought I’d share a few of my favorite ideas with you over the next few days.

One of the most important things that I do with my kids is to start getting them back “on schedule” before school starts. For us this means that we go back to 8:00 bedtimes and 7:00 wake up time. My kids hate this but I have to admit that I despise this new schedule even more than they do! In the summer time I am accustomed to going bed around 1 or 2 in the morning (sometimes even later) and getting up around 8, 9, or even 10. LOL I am not a morning person and I really enjoy my late night work sessions. For me I have to start adjusting my schedule about 3 weeks before they go back to school so that I can get into the habit of going to bed at 10:30/11:00 and getting up at 6:30/7:00. The kids adapt a bit easier and since I don’t need to make as drastic of a change to their schedule two weeks is enough for them.

Along with adjusting their bedtime schedule I start getting them back into their school year routines which includes setting out their clothes the night before, doing their chores in the evening after supper, earlier story times, and less television. I also make them get dressed right away in the morning before breakfast just like we would during the school year rather than allowing them to lounge around in their jammies. Another adjustment I make is having them start wearing shoes a majority of the day. My kids are barefoot nearly all summer long and they hate it when they have to wear shoes to school all day.

By getting the kids back into a school routine a couple of weeks early I have found that they are more prepared for the start of school, they’re less cranky, I’m less cranky, and things seem to flow pretty easily during the transition from summer time to school time.

I’ll see ya in a couple of days with another idea to get our kids ready for school. If you want to make sure you don’t miss out when the next tip is posted just sign up below and you’ll start receiving my posts in your e-mail box.

Posted in: Tips for Single Moms | No Comments »

Everyone’s Doing It

July 30, 2008

Mawwwwwwwm, my friend has a Nintendo DS and I really want one; you can play all these really cool games, go in chat rooms, blah, blah, blah. She lost me at “go in chat rooms”. Yes, I did some research and maybe some would argue that it’s not as bad as it sounds but I just don’t want that kind of technology in my child’s hands. “All my friends have one”. And my response is; “good for them; all the children that live in this house will not have one.” How do you handle the situation when your child tells you that all their friends are doing something or have something or go somewhere or wear something and you don’t approve of it? I have witnessed children in my daughter’s fourth grade class with cell phones! Here are a few ideas that have helped me get through this onslaught from all my kids.

First of all I had to cone to terms with the fact that yes there are indeed 2 kids in her class that do have and carry cell phones but that not “all” the kids carry a cell phone. This helped me realize that I am not alone on my stand on this matter as well as various other matters that I don’t approve of for my kids. Sometimes as a parent you will need to make some hard choices that your child is not going to like but you can be rest assured that you are not the only parent who is making hard choices and decisions; other parents just like you are doing the same thing for their child.

One of the most important things that I work to maintain is a bond of love between my children and I. My kids know that no matter what they do or say that I will always love them; my love for them is not something that will ever be a doubt in their minds. Since this is so deeply ingrained in them it makes it a bit easier for me to discuss many difficult issues with them. I have had many discussions with all of my kids about the rules we have in this house versus the rules that their friends have in their houses. I have made sure they understand I am not responsible for setting limitations for their friends and I can only do what I feel is right and best for my own children and it is the responsibility of every parent to do what they feel is right and best for their own kids. I have also made sure they understand that just because someone else’s rules are different from ours it doesn’t make either one of us right and the other wrong; we’re just different people with different standards.

I’ve also found it to be very important to know I establish my boundaries on a various number of issues so when something comes up I don’t have to flounder for an answer with my kids. I have a very strong and firm stance on things such as sneaking out of the house, lying, drugs, alcohol, sex, dating, and other dangerous issues for my kids. On the other hand if my child wants to cut his/her hair into the latest fad or dye it orange it’s not something I argue too much about. I’m not going to pay for something I don’t particularly like but if they want to foot the bill for something outrageous I have no problem letting them do it. I feel it’s important to pick my battles and only fight for something major. Orange hair will eventually go away but a pregnant teenager is something that has to be dealt with for the rest of their lives.

In our house we also have a family contract; this contract states the rules, the consequences for breaking the rules and the rewards for obeying the rules. Everyone, including mom, signs the contract and everyone is expected to abide by the terms of the contract. This gives the family a clear cut set of rules to abide by without any excuses saying someone didn’t know it was a rule.

Kids are kids and not grown-ups; they are going to make mistakes and do some stupid stuff over the course of their childhood and adolescent years. Don’t forget to think back to your own childhood and the stuff you did; also remember there were times when your parents cut you some slack. I can clearly remember the first time I ever went out on a date at the age of 15; I didn’t come home till after 3:00 in the morning. My parents did not specifically tell me when to come home so I went home when I was good and ready to go home! You know what? They didn’t ground me until I was 21, they didn’t scream and yell, they didn’t lock me in my bedroom; instead they sat down and told me from now on whenever I wanted to go out on a date that 10 (or maybe 11 – I’m not sure now) was my curfew and they expected me to be home by that time without any excuse or there would be consequences. Now I can guarantee you I didn’t always make it home on time and there were definitely consequences but the point is my parents balanced things out and cut me some slack where it was needed and implemented consequences where it was needed. Be sure to do the same thing with your kids as well.

Always keep the lines of communication open between you and your child; as they grow up to be teens they will need to know they can always come to you for any problem, question, or just to talk. It’s best to have your teenage daughter come to you to tell you her boyfriend is pressuring her to have sex rather than to find out she is suddenly gaining weight and her doctor tells you she’s pregnant. Give your child a chance to prove you can trust them and give an extra special pat on the back when they prove you can and also be sure to be there to lend them a hand back up when they fail. Growing up is a learning process of many trials and errors; just remember you wouldn’t be where you are today without making many of the same mistakes your kids are bound to make. Make sure they know you will never turn your back on them.

Being a parent is never easy; you and I both know it! I can’t believe that I already have a child who has according to most people’s standards become an adult. Over the years there have been a lot of things we didn’t agree on but in the end he knows I love him and I will always be here for him. He has pushed me to my ultimate limits many times but I have kept my resolve on the important issues when it came to the “all my friends….” statements. I have to believe in his heart he feels safe, and loved because I have set boundaries for him that will keep him safe.

***NOTE: I do realize that the chat room feature of the Nintendo DS can be turned off - the actual point of this blog was not about the pros and cons of this toy but rather what I have done when my children come to me with the “but everyone else does…” type of statement.

Posted in: Tips for Single Moms | 2 Comments »

Scrumptious Apple Pie

July 28, 2008

I love apple pie and to me nothing tastes better than a homemade apple pie. Even though I’m a busy single mom I still take the time every once in a while to whip up a homemade pie. I don’t want my kids to miss out on the delicious tastes and smells that I grew up with as a kid. Here is an excellent apple pie recipe that I’m sure you’ll love.

Ingredients:

1/3 cup butter, melted
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 pound Golden Delicious apples, cored, cut into 1/2 inch slices (6 cups)
1 pound Granny Smith apples, cored, cut into 1/2 inch slices (6 cups)
1 (15 ounce 2 crust) package refrigerator piecrust
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
2 tablespoons all purpose flour
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon water
1 (12 ounce) jar caramel ice cream topping

Instructions:

Combine butter and cinnamon together in a large mixing bowl. Add both types of apples and toss to coat.

Line two large baking pans with aluminum foil. Heat oven to 475 degrees. Roast apples one pan at a time for 5 minutes turning once while roasting. The apples should just start to brown around the edges. Allow the apples to cool right in the pans. Reduce oven heat to 375.

Bring piecrust dough to room temperature. Place one crust in the bottom of a 9 inch pie plate. In a mixing bowl combine the brown sugar, flour and salt. Place the roasted apples, both pans juice included into the bowl with the brown sugar mixture. Coat the apples well. Place the apples in the pie plate. Flour a flat surface and roll the second dough out to a 14 inch circle. Cut 4 slits in the dough. Place the dough over the top of the apples. Cut dough to 1/2 inch beyond plate. Crimp edges. Place the lightly beaten egg in a bowl. Add the water and mix together. Brush the top of the pie with the egg mixture.

Place aluminum foil around the edge of the pie to keep the crust from browning too much and becoming hard. Bake 30 minutes. Remove the aluminum foil from the edges and bake 35 minutes longer. The top should be a golden brown and the filling bubbly. Drizzle with the caramel topping as soon as you take the pie from the oven. Cool.

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Over the Hills and Through the Woods…

July 26, 2008

Every summer when I was little my dad, my brother, and I would pack our suitcases, all dad’s fishing gear and we’d head to grandma and grandpa’s house. Our visits would last anywhere from a couple of weeks up to the entire summer. Dad worked for a large company and would always get two weeks vacation and often “change-over” would come during summer time so we would spend plenty of time “up north”. (We lived in Illinois; grandma and grandpa lived in Adams, WI)

On a couple occasions my brother and I would get to spend some time with them without dad being with us and we always had a great time. I can remember my grandma reading to us from a story book every night. Over the years I can imagine that she probably re-read some of those stories many, many time. Then just before she shut out the lights she would have us say our evening prayers:

“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and if I die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take.” God bless daddy and mommy and grandma and grandpa, and… (Depending on how long we wanted to prolong the lights out process we could come up with a whole list of people, birds, animals, plants, trees, and whatever else that needed “blessing”! LOL)

When I was a little girl my grandparents were in their mid-60’s, both of them were retired, and came from a different era than many of today’s grandparents. They had very little income but we never seemed to run out of a supply of fun things to do with them. Grandpa had his squirrels that we could help him feed and grandma had birds (outside birds that is) to feed and water. Don’t forget the garden that had to be tended and berries to pick somewhere I don’t even remember now. If we happened to be there at the right time we could also go mushroom picking with them. Of course there were always cousins to visit, church on Sunday and grandma’s Royal Neighbors meetings and socials to be attended. In the evening there was always a good game of dominoes to be played while listening to either a Brewer’s game or the country music countdown. Watching television wasn’t an option for us except for Saturday morning cartoons. Every now and then grandma would let us watch The Price is Right and then she had a soap opera in the afternoon that she turned on; she never really watched it, though, ‘cause she’d always fall asleep.

It seems that traveling to visit grandma and grandpa in a different city or state was more common when I was a kid than it is now. Kids usually love spending time with their grandparents and summer time is often the only time they get a chance to do it.

If you have parents that are able to take the grandkids for a few days or maybe even a week or more it would be a wonderful experience for your kids. You should take some time and plan ahead to make it easier for both the kids and your parents. You need to consider things like activities they like to do, having spending money so grandma and grandpa don’t have to foot the bill, and what to do if they want to come home early.

You can make a list ahead of time for your parents about things the kids like to do and often many grandparents enjoy swimming, fishing, visiting the local zoo, taking a trip to a big mall, or perhaps even to an amusement park. If you have a list ahead of time it’ll give the grandparents a few ideas but you should also remind the kids that they can’t expect to be allowed to do everything they want and they shouldn’t complain.

Staying with grandma and grandpa can be a fun adventure for kids; if you do some advance planning it should turn out to be a good experience for everyone.

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