S.S. Mommy » Tips for Single Moms

Back to School Transition Tips – End of Summer Celebration

Rose — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 14:29:42 +0000

Chocolate chip pancakes are my family’s celebration food. We don’t have them all the time but whenever there is a special event, a birthday, or a holiday I like to make chocolate chip pancakes for my kids. A few years ago I started making chocolate chip pancakes for them for breakfast on the first day of school but I found that it made our morning a little bit too rushed so instead of having them on the first day of school I have them for supper the night before.

Our typical last day of summer looks like this:

Morning school routine
Pack a picnic lunch and head out for a family activity
Supper:

Chores
Take a walk together
Read a story
Bedtime routine
Snack: Chocolate banana shakes
Normal school night bedtime

I’ve found that by taking a bit of time to get ready for the first day of school it not only helps my kids ease back into the school year routine but it also helps me as well. Perhaps this is your first child’s first day of school, your eldest’s first day of his/her senior year, or maybe your baby is starting kindergarten. Whatever stage you and your child are facing a bit of preparation will help ease you both back into school and get you off to a great start.

Did you sign up yesterday to receive your free School Days newsletter? The first issue is going to be going out on Monday and is going to give you some ideas for routines — making your mornings stress free, setting up an afterschool routine that will give your kids time to talk to you about their day and the routine that I’ve found works best for my kids.

Don’t forget about the free bonuses that you’ll receive when you sign up:

Back to School Report – 25 pages packed full of ideas that will help you with stuff like:

Yummy school meals and snacks booklet – 10 pages of kid friendly recipes like:

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Back to School Transition Tips – Homework

Rose — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 20:26:02 +0000

The start of the school year also means the start of homework once again. My kids do their homework at the dining room table so in a corner of my dining room I keep a basket full of school supplies which they will need in order to complete their homework. There’s a plastic in-basket sitting on my kitchen counter near the back door so the kids can bring in any papers from school and put them in this basket. When the kids sit down to do their homework I sit down at the table with them to make sure they’re doing it, help them if they need it, and to go through the in-basket and sign the papers as well as to discuss any assignments or tests with the kids.

Some of the items that I put into their homework basket include loose leaf paper, pens, pencils, pencil sharpener, rulers, crayons, colored pencils, glue, scissors, dictionary, calculator, red pens/pencils, highlighters, bookmarks, and a special treat they can eat after they finish their homework.

I have found that by having the supplies together in one place, having a place for them to deposit their papers, and by sitting down at the table with them when they do their homework they are more likely to actually complete the work that is sent home with them. When I don’t take the time to sit down with them they usually don’t do all their homework then I hear about it from their teachers!

I also make sure that I have a handy, nutritious snack prepared for them to eat before they start doing their homework. The kids know that as soon as they get in the door they are to drop off their papers into the in-box, take their backpacks to the dining room, change their clothes, pick up their snack, and then they have some time to chill out with me in the living room to talk about their day. After we’ve had some cool down time we get right into our homework routine.

I learned the hard way that it’s a good idea to start considering the inevitable start of homework. If you do a bit of advance planning you eliminate some of the hassle associated with homework.

On Monday I will be launching my newest free newsletter, School Days, you can sign up for it below so you won’t miss out on a single issue. I have a lot of information to share with you that will make this school year with your kids a lot less stressful. Here’s a list of what’s coming up for this month:

8-15 Routines: I’ll give you some ideas to make your mornings stress free, setting up an afterschool routine that will give your kids time to talk to you about their day and the routine that I’ve found works best for my kids.

8-22 Busy Kids: Are your kids involved in ballet, band, soccer, football, and a variety of other extracurricular activities? I’m going to share some tips with you to help you decide if you’re kids are too busy and how to choose afterschool activities for your kids. I’ll also give you some advice for getting your child to help out and do some chores around the house

8-29 Eliminating Meal Time Chaos: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, at least that’s what I’ve been told so I’m going to give you some ideas for breakfast that will help boost your child’s energy level. I also have some ideas for afternoon snacks that my kids absolutely love and give you some advice to plan evening menus and eliminate the evening chaos around your house.

There is going to be a lot of exciting stuff that you won’t want to miss out on especially since school is getting ready to start so be sure to sign up and as special bonus I’m going to give you a free 25 page back to school report packed full of ideas that will help you with stuff like:

As an additional bonus I’m going to give you a 10 page recipe booklet full of great school meals and snacks like:

Don’t miss out on all this free stuff that I’m giving you! I have one more back to school transition tip to share with you in a few days so I’ll see ya then!

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Back to School Transition Tips – Morning Routines

Rose — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 16:04:09 +0000

How long does it take for your kids to get up, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush their teeth, and grab their back packs? If you don’t know this you could be looking at a stressed and disastrous first day or several days of school. Whether you have one kid or several kids that have to go through all these steps every morning before school it is a good idea to know how long you need to allow for these morning activities. A week before school starts I start having them go through all the motions of their morning routine so I can figure out if we are going to be rushed every morning or even have way to much time on our hands. If the kids are taking too much time getting through their morning rituals I adjust their wake up times a bit in order to make sure they have enough time to get through everything they need to do. If they are left with too much time on their hands before we would need to leave then I give them a few extra minutes to either sleep or lay in bed before making them get up. I don’t like them having too much time on their hands in the morning because they start to make messes or whine for television or just give me too much grief about being bored. One of the other things I have done if they are left with too much time after getting ready is to sit down with a timer and read a story to them until the timer dings. Setting a timer is especially important so I don’t get too wrapped up in the book and forget to get them to school on time!

I have found that if I routinely read them a story before school every morning that it encourages everyone to get dressed and moving more quickly so they have time to listen to the story. This also keeps me focused on their morning routines rather than getting lost in the morning e-mails and not paying attention when they start to dawdle.

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Back to School Transition Tips – Open House

Rose — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:02:53 +0000

Shortly before school starts our school has an “open house” day where the kids can come in and see their classroom, find their locker, and meet their new teacher. The kids can bring in their new school supplies, choose their desk, and put their supplies away. This works really good so the kids don’t have to carry a bunch of stuff on the first day of school. My kids really enjoy this night because they finally get to find out if they are going to be in the same class as their friends. Of course if they’re disappointed I hear about it for the next few days but I just take the time to listen to their concerns and help them express their feelings about their disappointment.

Both buddy and the baby will be starting in new schools this year so taking the time to show them around their schools is especially important to them. The baby has been in his new school quite a bit because his older siblings have been attending there for the past couple of years and he has been with me every time I picked them up from school. So he is pretty familiar with the school but he will be seeing it a bit differently since he will now have a classroom in their school. Buddy has taken a couple of field trips with his sixth grade class to the junior high so they could tour the school and get a chance to check things out and start becoming familiar and comfortable with their new surroundings. So he will know the layout of the school a little bit and we will just need to walk through his school and find all his classrooms, locate his locker, and get an idea of what his daily schedule will be like.

If your kids school has an open house day don’t forget to take advantage of the opportunity to get your child familiar with and comfortable with his or her new surroundings for the school year.

Don’t miss the next tip; take time to subscribe to my blog so you can be notified in your e-mail in-box. I’ll see ya again in a few more days!

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Back to School Transition Tips – Their worries

Rose — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 14:09:47 +0000

Once I have the kids going to bed earlier they know that school is just around the corner and it won’t be long until the long summer days are coming to an end. I usually start easing them back into their school year bedtime routine on a Sunday night since that would traditionally be a school night during the school year; about Wednesday I start talking to the kids about school and trying to get an idea of how they feel about going back to school. Two years ago when I started this discussion with my daughter she told me she was really nervous about school because she knew that both of the third grade teachers were boys and she’d never had a boy teacher before and she was uncomfortable with the idea. We spent some time discussing why she was uncomfortable and what she thought was going to be different and how she could become comfortable with the idea of a boy teacher. That year was also the first year that my youngest son was going to preschool alone. For the first two years that he had been in preschool his older brother had been going with him; he was sad that he was going to be alone and not have him there. He was afraid he wouldn’t know how to find the bathroom and who was going to tell the teacher when he needed something and how would he get his backpack put together without his brother. (Have you figured out his older brother is a nurturer? LOL) He had some legitimate concerns even though he was just four years old and it was important that I helped him deal with what he was worried about so he could feel comfortable when he started school.

This year buddy will be starting junior high; this is a big transition for him. Not only is he going to a different school but everything is going to be more difficult, more will be expected of him, and he will also be playing football on a team for the first time. We’ve already started talking about these changes and how he feels about them; he’s made it perfectly clear to me that he’d prefer to start homeschooling again!

Talking to my kids about school before school starts is extremely important to them and to me as well. By taking the time to find out how they are feeling I am able help them figure out some solutions to their fears and give them some comfort so they can be better prepared for their first day.

Did you take the time to subscribe in my last post: Back to School Transition Tips? If not you can do so by entering your name and e-mail address below. This way you can be sure not to miss the rest of the ideas I have for getting our kids ready for going back to school. I’ll see ya in a couple of days with another idea!

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Back to School Transition Tips – Scheduling

Rose — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 03:48:35 +0000

I remember when I was a little girl; I couldn’t wait for the end of the school year. Summer was a much anticipated season and there were so many things that we could do. I loved being able to sleep in late and have the freedom of not having a schedule. Even though I really loved summer vacation I was one of those kids who actually enjoyed school but when the end of summer started coming to a close I was still sad to see the end of the fun and have to go back to the everyday routine of the school year. My kids are not at all like me; they do not like school and dread the ending of summer time and the starting of a new school year.

When we homeschooled we didn’t have a summer break since we did a bit of schooling all year round but since the kids have been in public school for the past four years I have found a few ideas that work for us to start getting ready to ease back into the school year routine. Since it won’t be long till school starts I thought I’d share a few of my favorite ideas with you over the next few days.

One of the most important things that I do with my kids is to start getting them back “on schedule” before school starts. For us this means that we go back to 8:00 bedtimes and 7:00 wake up time. My kids hate this but I have to admit that I despise this new schedule even more than they do! In the summer time I am accustomed to going bed around 1 or 2 in the morning (sometimes even later) and getting up around 8, 9, or even 10. LOL I am not a morning person and I really enjoy my late night work sessions. For me I have to start adjusting my schedule about 3 weeks before they go back to school so that I can get into the habit of going to bed at 10:30/11:00 and getting up at 6:30/7:00. The kids adapt a bit easier and since I don’t need to make as drastic of a change to their schedule two weeks is enough for them.

Along with adjusting their bedtime schedule I start getting them back into their school year routines which includes setting out their clothes the night before, doing their chores in the evening after supper, earlier story times, and less television. I also make them get dressed right away in the morning before breakfast just like we would during the school year rather than allowing them to lounge around in their jammies. Another adjustment I make is having them start wearing shoes a majority of the day. My kids are barefoot nearly all summer long and they hate it when they have to wear shoes to school all day.

By getting the kids back into a school routine a couple of weeks early I have found that they are more prepared for the start of school, they’re less cranky, I’m less cranky, and things seem to flow pretty easily during the transition from summer time to school time.

I’ll see ya in a couple of days with another idea to get our kids ready for school. If you want to make sure you don’t miss out when the next tip is posted just sign up below and you’ll start receiving my posts in your e-mail box.

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Everyone’s Doing It

Rose — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:49:25 +0000

Mawwwwwwwm, my friend has a Nintendo DS and I really want one; you can play all these really cool games, go in chat rooms, blah, blah, blah. She lost me at “go in chat rooms”. Yes, I did some research and maybe some would argue that it’s not as bad as it sounds but I just don’t want that kind of technology in my child’s hands. “All my friends have one”. And my response is; “good for them; all the children that live in this house will not have one.” How do you handle the situation when your child tells you that all their friends are doing something or have something or go somewhere or wear something and you don’t approve of it? I have witnessed children in my daughter’s fourth grade class with cell phones! Here are a few ideas that have helped me get through this onslaught from all my kids.

First of all I had to cone to terms with the fact that yes there are indeed 2 kids in her class that do have and carry cell phones but that not “all” the kids carry a cell phone. This helped me realize that I am not alone on my stand on this matter as well as various other matters that I don’t approve of for my kids. Sometimes as a parent you will need to make some hard choices that your child is not going to like but you can be rest assured that you are not the only parent who is making hard choices and decisions; other parents just like you are doing the same thing for their child.

One of the most important things that I work to maintain is a bond of love between my children and I. My kids know that no matter what they do or say that I will always love them; my love for them is not something that will ever be a doubt in their minds. Since this is so deeply ingrained in them it makes it a bit easier for me to discuss many difficult issues with them. I have had many discussions with all of my kids about the rules we have in this house versus the rules that their friends have in their houses. I have made sure they understand I am not responsible for setting limitations for their friends and I can only do what I feel is right and best for my own children and it is the responsibility of every parent to do what they feel is right and best for their own kids. I have also made sure they understand that just because someone else’s rules are different from ours it doesn’t make either one of us right and the other wrong; we’re just different people with different standards.

I’ve also found it to be very important to know I establish my boundaries on a various number of issues so when something comes up I don’t have to flounder for an answer with my kids. I have a very strong and firm stance on things such as sneaking out of the house, lying, drugs, alcohol, sex, dating, and other dangerous issues for my kids. On the other hand if my child wants to cut his/her hair into the latest fad or dye it orange it’s not something I argue too much about. I’m not going to pay for something I don’t particularly like but if they want to foot the bill for something outrageous I have no problem letting them do it. I feel it’s important to pick my battles and only fight for something major. Orange hair will eventually go away but a pregnant teenager is something that has to be dealt with for the rest of their lives.

In our house we also have a family contract; this contract states the rules, the consequences for breaking the rules and the rewards for obeying the rules. Everyone, including mom, signs the contract and everyone is expected to abide by the terms of the contract. This gives the family a clear cut set of rules to abide by without any excuses saying someone didn’t know it was a rule.

Kids are kids and not grown-ups; they are going to make mistakes and do some stupid stuff over the course of their childhood and adolescent years. Don’t forget to think back to your own childhood and the stuff you did; also remember there were times when your parents cut you some slack. I can clearly remember the first time I ever went out on a date at the age of 15; I didn’t come home till after 3:00 in the morning. My parents did not specifically tell me when to come home so I went home when I was good and ready to go home! You know what? They didn’t ground me until I was 21, they didn’t scream and yell, they didn’t lock me in my bedroom; instead they sat down and told me from now on whenever I wanted to go out on a date that 10 (or maybe 11 – I’m not sure now) was my curfew and they expected me to be home by that time without any excuse or there would be consequences. Now I can guarantee you I didn’t always make it home on time and there were definitely consequences but the point is my parents balanced things out and cut me some slack where it was needed and implemented consequences where it was needed. Be sure to do the same thing with your kids as well.

Always keep the lines of communication open between you and your child; as they grow up to be teens they will need to know they can always come to you for any problem, question, or just to talk. It’s best to have your teenage daughter come to you to tell you her boyfriend is pressuring her to have sex rather than to find out she is suddenly gaining weight and her doctor tells you she’s pregnant. Give your child a chance to prove you can trust them and give an extra special pat on the back when they prove you can and also be sure to be there to lend them a hand back up when they fail. Growing up is a learning process of many trials and errors; just remember you wouldn’t be where you are today without making many of the same mistakes your kids are bound to make. Make sure they know you will never turn your back on them.

Being a parent is never easy; you and I both know it! I can’t believe that I already have a child who has according to most people’s standards become an adult. Over the years there have been a lot of things we didn’t agree on but in the end he knows I love him and I will always be here for him. He has pushed me to my ultimate limits many times but I have kept my resolve on the important issues when it came to the “all my friends….” statements. I have to believe in his heart he feels safe, and loved because I have set boundaries for him that will keep him safe.

***NOTE: I do realize that the chat room feature of the Nintendo DS can be turned off – the actual point of this blog was not about the pros and cons of this toy but rather what I have done when my children come to me with the “but everyone else does…” type of statement.

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Over the Hills and Through the Woods…

Rose — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 20:56:00 +0000

Every summer when I was little my dad, my brother, and I would pack our suitcases, all dad’s fishing gear and we’d head to grandma and grandpa’s house. Our visits would last anywhere from a couple of weeks up to the entire summer. Dad worked for a large company and would always get two weeks vacation and often “change-over” would come during summer time so we would spend plenty of time “up north”. (We lived in Illinois; grandma and grandpa lived in Adams, WI)

On a couple occasions my brother and I would get to spend some time with them without dad being with us and we always had a great time. I can remember my grandma reading to us from a story book every night. Over the years I can imagine that she probably re-read some of those stories many, many time. Then just before she shut out the lights she would have us say our evening prayers:

“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and if I die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take.” God bless daddy and mommy and grandma and grandpa, and… (Depending on how long we wanted to prolong the lights out process we could come up with a whole list of people, birds, animals, plants, trees, and whatever else that needed “blessing”! LOL)

When I was a little girl my grandparents were in their mid-60’s, both of them were retired, and came from a different era than many of today’s grandparents. They had very little income but we never seemed to run out of a supply of fun things to do with them. Grandpa had his squirrels that we could help him feed and grandma had birds (outside birds that is) to feed and water. Don’t forget the garden that had to be tended and berries to pick somewhere I don’t even remember now. If we happened to be there at the right time we could also go mushroom picking with them. Of course there were always cousins to visit, church on Sunday and grandma’s Royal Neighbors meetings and socials to be attended. In the evening there was always a good game of dominoes to be played while listening to either a Brewer’s game or the country music countdown. Watching television wasn’t an option for us except for Saturday morning cartoons. Every now and then grandma would let us watch The Price is Right and then she had a soap opera in the afternoon that she turned on; she never really watched it, though, ‘cause she’d always fall asleep.

It seems that traveling to visit grandma and grandpa in a different city or state was more common when I was a kid than it is now. Kids usually love spending time with their grandparents and summer time is often the only time they get a chance to do it.

If you have parents that are able to take the grandkids for a few days or maybe even a week or more it would be a wonderful experience for your kids. You should take some time and plan ahead to make it easier for both the kids and your parents. You need to consider things like activities they like to do, having spending money so grandma and grandpa don’t have to foot the bill, and what to do if they want to come home early.

You can make a list ahead of time for your parents about things the kids like to do and often many grandparents enjoy swimming, fishing, visiting the local zoo, taking a trip to a big mall, or perhaps even to an amusement park. If you have a list ahead of time it’ll give the grandparents a few ideas but you should also remind the kids that they can’t expect to be allowed to do everything they want and they shouldn’t complain.

Staying with grandma and grandpa can be a fun adventure for kids; if you do some advance planning it should turn out to be a good experience for everyone.

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Television Alternatives

Rose — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 16:16:39 +0000

The further we get into July the hotter it seems to get outside. My kids are not interested in playing out in the heat any longer and I don’t like the idea of them vegging out in front of the tv all day either. In fact I have removed the cable package and we now just get the local channels; that doesn’t stop the kids from trying to pop in a movie to keep them from being bored in this heat. Of course I can understand how they feel and don’t want to make them go outside either. I’ve let my kids know that movie time is limited and that the can start spending more time reading.

As you know from some previous posts our library has a summer reading program that they have been participating in; the program has actually now ended but I’ve started an incentive program of my own with them. They each have a set minimum amount of time which they are required to read each day after 15 days everyone who has met their minimum gets their choice of treat at the ice cream stand.

As temperatures soar during the summer, many people prefer to remain indoors in the cool air conditioning. Unfortunately, that means children and teens will be spending more time in front of a screen and less time using their minds. Encourage your children to plan for summertime reading to keep their minds sharp.

We continue to make a weekly trip to our library every Monday and since my daughter reads faster than everyone else she has the privilege of walking to the library on her own on Thursday to pick out more books. Buddy has difficulty reading and even though he is entering 7th grade in the fall he only reads at a 2nd grade reading level. One of things I did before I started taking the kids to the library this summer was to find out what sort of books he likes to read; once we went to the library I started looking up books with topics about the things he likes to read and made sure they were at his reading level. I also allow him to check out books that are below his reading level as a sort of incentive to read the books that he able to read.

Another incentive that my kids enjoy is that they are allowed to pick out 1 comic book to read each week. This is a good way to motivate a reluctant reader because the text is large, the sentences are short, and the full story isn’t very long. Since the pictures help tell the story they feel they are better able to read and understand the story.

Another thing we do is have a set time for reading every night. First of all we all sit and read to ourselves for a little bit and then I have one book that I read aloud to everyone. Lastly I have another book at everyone’s reading level that I have them read a couple pages from each night as well. They truly enjoy this reading time together and it really promotes my goal of family togetherness as well.

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First Aid Tips for Single Moms

Rose — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:26:25 +0000

For a single mom — well any parent for that matter — having a properly stocked first aid kit is extremely important. I’ve found that having a few essentials on hand can make a difference when you’re faced with an emergency situation and can help you to stay calmer than if you had to run around searching for stuff.

Phone numbers – these should be programmed on your phone, posted on the fridge, or put in some convenient place that you can remember and readily access

ice packs – I have a couple that I picked up that work great as hot or cold packs. I keep them in the freezer all the time; if I need to warm them up it’s quick and easy to pop in the microwave.

thermometer

Vaseline – to use with rectal thermometer

pain reliever – ibuprofen or acetaminophen

measuring syringe – you might prefer to use a spoon or dropper whichever will work best for your child

elastic and adhesive bandages

tape and gauze

small scissors

alcohol pads

tweezers

pocket flashlight

A few other things you might want to add to your first aid kit would be:

calamine lotion
hydrocortisone ointment
Benadryl
antibiotic ointment
epinephrine
and of course some wire cutters.

Wire cutters? Well take a look and you’ll see why I think a decent pair of wire cutters should be included in your first aid kit.

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